15th week on brivanib

I fall asleep almost immediately after I swallow, at 10pm, the four (mega) pills.
I am thirsty, especially during the night.
My mouth is dry. All the time.
I am spaced-out (ok, more spaced-out than usual).
Even favorite foods have lost all the appeal.
I write to-do lists and then I forget to look at them (Zé will say that that is my normal...)
Fatigue (this is hard to tell if it is a side effect since I no longer have a baseline, I have been feeling tired in the last years).

All these signs have been pointing to the fact that I am on the drug and not on the placebo. Yet, I was not a 100% convinced, until yesterday. If the drug company does a random selection I was bound to get the placebo. That was what I thought, based on the fact that I never win anything.

However, yesterday, when I had my vitals taken - blood pressure continues to be high, weight continues to decrease - I became certain that I am still on the drug.

Yesssssss. I am one of the lucky ones.

When I do the decisive CAT scan, in three weeks, I might have to stop Brivanib, since the tumor growth has been close to 20 percent. Still I am happy. At least the pattern where my tumors did not respond at all to the drugs has changed. Who knows, perhaps the tide has also changed.