I don't pay too much attention to anniversaries, but I guess I must say something about today's date. It was ten years ago that I took the first step in this looooooooooooong marathon.
My doctors say that I have been a "good sport". My family and friends say that I have been "brave". Even though their words lift me high, I always feel that I don't deserve so much praise.
Maybe sometimes I am a good sport. Maybe, but it is only because I have no other choice. What can I do instead of accepting, with a smile, more surgeries, more trials, more chemo... I am not brave. I only pretend to be, hoping to fool myself. I really have no other choice.
Optimistic is what I have been in the past ten years. Once, I asked Dr. Morgan if there is a light at the end of the tunnel and he answered yes. That's what I needed to hear. No matter what, I continue to believe in my oncologist's words.
All I have to do is to continue gaining ground. Many of the targeted drugs and cancer vaccines used today to treat several cancers did not exist ten years ago. Today, we are closer to the day scientists find the drug that will cure, or at least delay, the growth of sarcomas like mine.
Coincidentally, I also signed a new protocol today. The next Phase One trial will be STA-9090. This drug will target a protein called HSP90. As it is explained in the consent form I signed today: "HSP90 is a protein that helps some molecules inside your cells to have the right shape (conformation). By stopping it's activity, those molecules never get to have the right structure to be functional, and they are destroyed. We believe that if we stop the activity of HSP90, the rapidly dividing cells that are in your tumor(s), will slow down since their proteins will not be functional without the help of HSP90..."
...and if this drug does not work, there will be more (one that targets CDK4, for example). Gaining ground, step by step, is what I hope to continue to do in the next ten years.
3 comments:
Elsa hoje ja e dia 29 mas lembrei-me muito de ti dia 27, pois sabes que 10 anos tanto e para ti como tambem dia 11 fizeram 10 anos para mim...
O resto ja foi dito por ti e so nos resta festejar a vida e daqui a 10 anos recordar outra data e entretanto comer uns Mins.
Que tal?
Beijinhos e ja estou cheia de saudades tuas.
Vi
não concordo contigo quando dizes que não tens alternativa. Há muitos que desistem.... sem garra para lutar. Tu és o nosso orgulho e o nosso exemplo. Esse teu espírito guerreiro é que é de louvar. VAIS CONSEGUIR, tenho a certeza. A tal luz ao fundo do túnel está cada vez mais próxima.
Beijinhos
Elsie, estou com a Pilar. Podias ter optado por trilhar esse caminho de forma sombria. Mas não, fizeste-o com um sorriso e toda essa luz que irradias. Muitas vezes certamente não te apetecia sorrir, mas sorriste. É essa a tua força e o que nos faz admirar-te na tua luta com 10 anos. Vá, agarra-te a este novo tratamento, VAI SER DESTA! Bjs
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